I was married for 96 months in a robust 2-income household and never had a penny to my name. Our rent was ALWAYS late. We faced eviction so many times over the years that I lost count. The power company sent us shut-off notices every month. We spent many nights in the dark, using candlelight to find our way around.

My then-husband’s new pool sticks were prioritized over the water bill being paid or replacing shoes and clothing that the kids had outgrown. His insatiable need to have latest new smartphone model was prioritized over car payments, and my vehicle that I worked very hard to purchase before I even married him was inevitably repossessed. His addiction to online gaming was prioritized over making sure we had enough nutritious food to keep our growing family healthy and content. And when I’d had enough and tried to get out, he emptied every red cent in our bank account so that there was no way I could leave.

I was stranded. Held captive in the exact opposite of the life he had promised me.

I was constantly stressed and worried. And eventually, terrified. I worked incredibly hard to provide for my family and every last dollar of my paycheck was already spent before it even got deposited. I made really good money, too, so none of it really made much sense. It was an endless loop of scarcity and fear. And I believed there was no way out of that nightmare.

I left the marriage 2.5 years ago and have struggled a LOT! I went down to a 1-income household making considerably less money that I ever had before I left. I took on all responsibility for the children on my own. We had no choice but to flee like refugees and move in to a part of town that was on the “wrong side of the tracks.” I was quite uncertain that I made a good decision on the new place I had chosen to call “home,” but I knew somehow that it would be better than what I was leaving behind. Anything would be better than that.

We started our first week out in our new home with food from Dollar Tree and just the clothes on our backs as well as a few blankets my ever-so-generous then-husband graciously allowed me to take. No tv. No radio. No toys for the kids. We literally had nothing. Regardless, as I glanced back at our family home through the rear-view window, I somehow knew that everything was going to be alright from now on. A peace had enveloped me. A joy. I had finally escaped!

Over the last couple of years I found myself in situations I never thought I’d find myself in. Problems I had never forecasted rained down upon me. My kids have struggled, too. But somehow I’ve always found a way to carry on and make the most out of any situation I find myself in.

It hasn’t been easy. But my power has never been shut off once. Bills may run a bit overdue now and again, but they’re ALWAYS paid in full. The boys always have clothing and shoes. We always have more than enough to eat. I bought a new vehicle and still have not to this day missed one single payment. And although I still worry here and there and go through struggles, life is immeasurably better than it ever was before I left.

Today I paid off my home. It took 18 months. Not long if you consider the fact that in my 96 months of marriage I never owned ANYTHING, let alone a home I could call my own. If you asked me 2.5 years ago I would have told you that there was no way possible this day would ever come. But here it is.

I definitely couldn’t have done it on my own, though.

Thanks to my parents for helping me out in countless ways countless times. And for always being supportive no matter what. And especially for raising me to NEVER give up! Thank you for raising me to be survivor.

Thanks to my neighbor who gifted me a lawnmower when I first moved in because he knew there was no way I was going to be able to put together enough money to buy my own.

Thanks to my then-landlord for gifting couches and other furniture to me when I first moved in because he knew the dire situation my children and I had found ourselves in.

Thanks to my friends for lifting me up and always being there in any way that they could. And for always being so understanding, generous, and kind to my boys.

Thanks to my children who have been impossibly supportive and patient with me as I worked on bettering our situation and rebuilding our lives. I’ll never give up!

And a HUGE thank you to my ex-husband. Thank you for doing everything possible to get in my way. Thank you for trying everything in your power to cause me to fail. Thank you for not supporting your children at all. Dealing with you has taught me how to be stronger and has motivated me to fight even harder to build the life my children and I deserve. A life of peace. A life of love. A life of security.

Today is a huge milestone for the kids and me. Today we are homeowners.

What started out as a foreign, scary place has truly become our sanctuary. A place where new traditions have been forged. A place where only love and light are allowed. A place where we can be together and feel safe and content always.

There have been so many times I felt helpless and hopeless and frightened. I don’t doubt there still will be times like that. But at least now I know with certainty I’ll be able to navigate through them.

I share my story today in hopes that it reaches someone who needs to hear it. Someone who knows they need to change their situation, but is afraid. I hope my story, in the very least, helps you to find the courage to make a change for the better. To find the strength to jump over any roadblock that pops up on your path. To find all of the possibilities in a seemingly impossible situation. And to realize that you can do it.

Capitve to refugee to survivor to home-owner.

If I can do it, anyone can!